Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
