Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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