She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
