I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
