well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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