Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
