it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I need to calm my uterus...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize