i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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