I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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