i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize