before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
