Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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