..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
