Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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