im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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