dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
