At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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