$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
