please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Text me some of your sweat
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