Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize