THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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