that's an acceptable place to lick
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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