I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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