it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You took a bar mat shot.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
