i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Someone came in the potted fern
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
