Nicole vs. Life
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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