That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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