best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize