I want to stick my p in your. b.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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