i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
its liver damage thursday
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize