butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Sext me about skeletons
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
