love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
