Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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