Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
