dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
