I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
i now understand why vodka
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
