So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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