shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
