I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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