I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
