I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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