the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
There's even glitter on my cock...
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