thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
