Got a toothbrush?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
