We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
