Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize