i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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