he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
