OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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