:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
