if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
