Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
