I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
