I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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