Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
i think my cat just said my name.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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