Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
