Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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