Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
