I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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