I wannas sexs uuuuu
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I understand Curling. That high.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
