when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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