ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
