I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
