He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
