so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
