I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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