put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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