Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
