Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
