i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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