Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
