My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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