her vagine was all disorganized.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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