I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She needs sedatives and a leash
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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