Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
im six kinds of drunk right now
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
